Another 24 hours proudly added to the first 36. It feels good. All I'm fighting is habits. Just taking the one when I open a book, when sip my mug of coffee, when I finish something... The little habits, and that's not so bad - I just need to fight with that little voice which whispers "just one, you know, that's not a big deal, just one..." LOL
I try keep myself busy and in a good mode. I had been painting a lot for past few days. Did needle felting. Went out shopping and bought myself Lancaster Paris handbag which I really like and a pair of new shoes
(shopping always heals, right? :D). And so on... It works! Yay!
Sometimes it feels like I will be not able to give up completely, sometimes I feel very positive to stop it forever. It's interesting. I'm not hiding cigarettes, they are still scattered all over the house and yesterday I spent half day in specialised tobacco shops to tease myself with all these wonderful aromas! LOL (It was such a fun to take piss out myself, I probably have weird sense of humour ). And started to read Brick Lane by Monica Ali. Very interesting, opening completely new, unknown world for me. So yes, keeping busy works wonders along with Tabex. I can do it and I'm determined to do it!
Keep it up and what is the point in teasing yourself. Just chuck them all away and stay out of the shop. When you start feeling better you will know it is worth it. I certainly did. Take care Diane
ReplyDeleteHi, Diane! I like a good teasing. What can be better than teasing myself!
ReplyDeleteBut, if serious, I want to do it properly or don't at all. If I will hide, keeping away from triggers, avoiding friends who smoke and such places, and so on... What's the point? I always live in full. Now I just need to learn how to continue living in full without a tobacco. Or, to be more precise, just keeping tobacco away from my personal life without affecting lives of others. I do not want my friends feeling uncomfortable around me.
Interesting, isn't it? You change one habit and you end up changing your whole life. New energy, new determination, raised awareness, I'm loving your journey. I enjoyed Brick Lane. I think any woman who has experienced just the slightest bit of oppression could identify with how the characters developed in the book.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely more energy, that's for sure, Ann. As I'm so busy this is the right time to do so because it's easy to forget when doing something and more energy for doing is a great bonus. Hardest moments are not friends smoking around me, hardest is when I fill my coffee mug and open my laptop. Then the urge to do what I had been doing for past 20 years is overwhelming. So I try to break habits - I do not drink my coffee while on computer. It works LOL
ReplyDeleteBrick Lane was interesting for me because I'm not familiar with Asian community and culture in Europe. Salman Rushdie's books cover it from way different angle, this is more downt to earth point thus new and very interesting for me (I hope I can trust author's interpretation). See, here we grow up to be very strong and very independent, with different taboos and all that so yes, interesting read for me...